In this exclusive interview with CanadianSME Small Business Magazine, Vivian Meraki, Founder of Unshakable Parenting and a seasoned somatic leadership coach, shares profound insights on nurturing emotional security for both parents and leaders. With over two decades of global leadership experience and a unique blend of trauma-informed coaching, Vivian offers a transformative perspective on overcoming burnout, healing generational trauma, and cultivating embodied resilience.
Her practical tools and heartfelt guidance provide invaluable support for parents striving to balance life’s demands and for organizations seeking to foster healthier, more empathetic workplaces.
Vivian Meraki is a Parenting Expert, Somatic Leadership Coach, and the founder of Unshakable Parenting, a coaching platform that helps parents raise emotionally secure children while healing their own burnout and generational trauma. With over 20 years of global leadership experience—including roles with PurposeMed, Field Trip Health, and the United Nations in Afghanistan—Vivian blends corporate insight with trauma-informed coaching to create healthier homes and workplaces. Her upcoming book, Parenting Through Divorce, and her viral content on TikTok empower parents and organizations alike to ditch the hustle and lead with embodied resilience.
Working parents are quietly burning out at record rates. From your experience coaching both individuals and organizations, what are the most overlooked factors contributing to this burnout, and how can companies better support their employees in navigating these challenges?
The mental and emotional load on parents is greater now, more than ever. We often say “it takes a village to raise children”, yet many parents have lost access to their village. They are raising their children in a far more isolated way than prior generations and don’t have as much support. While many may know this, I don’t think we fully have acknowledged the implications of what this means for parents in the workplace. That’s the first factor: the volume of work and expectations continues to go up, while the support and resources available to them has reduced.
This leads me to the second factor: expectations in the workplace. Convention in the workplace is to keep personal and work separate. Yet, people are whole beings. The reality is that stress from work spills over to affect a person’s personal life and vice versa – despite the best efforts to keep them compartmentalized.
The companies that recognize and support their employees as whole people and offer flex days, health benefits that include mental health supports, bereavement leaves, and flexibility around difficult life circumstances are the companies that will foster more workplace satisfaction, productivity, and innovation in the long-run.
You champion the concept of “embodied resilience” as an antidote to hustle culture. Can you explain what embodied resilience means in practice, and how it differs from traditional ideas of strength or perseverance, especially for parents and leaders?
The traditional way we define resilience is how much a person can withstand before they break under the pressure, with the aspiration being that you don’t show the stress or any faltering.
What I call embodied resilience is instead defined by how quickly you return to your centre – the place where you feel connected, safe, and aligned with yourself. Instead of staying static and trying to withstand the high volume of pressure, it is about returning to that place of centre and then turning around to confront the adversity from a place of grounding and strength.
The major difference between the two is that the latter acknowledges the state of a person’s capacity in the moment, and takes the time to address the gap and to answer the question “what do I need right now?” and then making a choice around how they want to take care of that need as they proceed.
For parents and leaders, giving themselves, their families, and their teams the space and grace to notice what they need and to be intentional about what they want to do next can be powerful in reducing burnout and improving relationships, collaboration, and building empowerment.
Somatic tools are central to your coaching approach. Could you share a practical somatic technique that parents—or even teams—can use to recover from emotional overload in the midst of daily stress?
Somatics is a practice that connects us with our bodies. Most people don’t know that 80-90% of our body’s autonomic nervous system – the nervous system responsible for our stress responses – is wired from body to the brain. This means that the majority of what we experience is through the body, not the mind. So, the most effective ways to de-escalate from emotional overload is through the body, not the mind.
I share a range of somatic practices in my book, Parenting Through Divorce, that will be released in May 2025. Below are two of the simplest and most accessible somatic techniques from it that you can do anytime and anywhere to de-escalate a stress response.
- Deep breathing: breathe deeply into your lungs and follow your breath for four counts, and exhale for six counts. The key is that your exhale is longer than your inhale. Doing this tells your brain that you are safe and that your nervous system can de-escalate.
- 5-4-3-2-1: Focus on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.
Many parents struggle with setting boundaries, often feeling guilt or pressure to “do it all.” What are some actionable strategies you recommend for establishing healthy boundaries at home and at work, without sacrificing connection or self-worth?
Boundaries are hard to set because self sacrifice has been normalized for many parents. Yet, your time and energy are your two most limited and valuable resources – what you say “yes” to, by default dictates what you are saying “no” to.
The first strategy is: be intentional about what you are giving up for that “yes”. Is it what you want to give up? More importantly, are you actually giving something up for the yes? When we say yes to everything, we are actually saying yes to doing nothing well.
Secondly, pay attention to how you feel. A sign that you could use a boundary is when you feel resentment, blame, or bitterness. If that’s the case, adjust for the next time. Self-worth is related to boundaries because when you ignore them, you are communicating to yourself that you aren’t worth listening to and your needs don’t matter. For anyone who needs to hear this, your needs matter.
Third, setting healthy boundaries takes practice, and I often recommend that people start with the small things with the people you feel safe setting boundaries with. Then work up to bigger things and with people you have a harder time with.
As you prepare to launch your debut book, Parenting Through Divorce, what is the single most important message you hope readers—especially those navigating major transitions—take away from your work? Please share any final thoughts or advice for small and medium-sized business leaders and parents striving for emotional sustainability.
Divorce affects 40-50% of marriages in Canada and the United States. It is also one of the most difficult life events that someone will have to navigate, second only to the death of a spouse. Yet, it remains a highly stigmatized circumstance with very little social and emotional support.
I’d like my readers to walk away with the permission to recognize just how significant that life event is, and that just because their marriage failed does not mean that they are a failure. Regardless of the life transition, there is no shame in asking for help and support. The emotional impact of life transitions are often the most complex to navigate – and asking for support can make a big difference. They don’t have to go through it feeling alone and overwhelmed.
For small and medium-sized business leaders and parents – it can feel like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders. We prioritize a lot for everyone else – because other people’s livelihoods and your children depend on you. While that is true, you matter too. It’s the oxygen mask analogy – that more compassion and care you offer yourself, the more you will have to offer those who matter to you.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this interview are those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of CanadianSME Small Business Magazine. This content is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice.
